


Life and soul of the Party

by WeeSweetieMice



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: 2015 election, Leaders' Debate, Milliband, Nicola Sturgeon - Freeform, snp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 21:51:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3705719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeeSweetieMice/pseuds/WeeSweetieMice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short musing on Malcolm and Jamie watching the Leaders' Debate for the 2015 election.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life and soul of the Party

  
Malcolm was used to tense silences (Malcolm _used_ tense silences) but this one was spontaneous.

Jamie spoke first: “He’s doing it again!”

“Who the juddering fuck told him to look at the camera? He just keeps looking at the fucking camera! Look into my eyes, look into the eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around the eyes, look into my eyes! Jesus wept.”

“Hauld up! Here comes ham-face with his usual bollocks.”

“Aw, no, now don’t let the racist prick butt in. Aw, did you- oh, he _didn’t!_ He fuckin- did you hear that? What is this, the AGM for the Society of Odious Cunts?"

“You’re loving this.”

“Nothing in my political life became me like the leaving of it, my dear Jamie. I’m merely watching as a concerned voter.”

“Bollocks y’are! You know this is unworkable bullshit and you’re getting off on it. Want me to check?” Jamie reached his hand across the short expanse of cushion towards Malcolm’s trousers.

“Get off me, ya wee perv. Aw, fuck, yer man’s at the creepy stare again. There are seven million people backing away from their screens right now in terror.”  
  
“We’re well out of it.”

“Y’think? That was _my_ fucking party. I put them in power and then they fucking screwed it up. Now look at them: they’re a washed out version of the fucking government. I joined to make changes but the people’s flag, my darlin’, is now faded to the pink shirt of a Oxbridge Hooray Henry wi’ his fucking collar up.”

“You did make changes, Malc. I think it’s safe to say you made quite a few changes. It’s kinda how you ended up on everyone’s shitlist.”

He gave Jamie a lazy sidelong glance. “I’m a man of principle.”

“They’re not going to win this one either.”

“Nope. And I’m not going to waste my time or my crayons telling them why.”

An expression that could only be described as glee flooded Jamie’s face. “You want back in the game! I KNEW this’d happen, I fucking knew it!”

“In the game, on the game - fucked either way. I’m not backing spineless Scary Eyes and his bunch of limp cocks. What we need,” he added in a considered tone, “is to lend a helping hand to the more deserving.”

Jamie watched as a petite female figure on the screen calmly commanded the attention of the participants. “More deserving, aye?”

“Yeh. One of the smaller ones. A party where they could use a hand to combat the inevitable smears that’ll be coming their way if, say, they started to look as good as their ideals.”

“We’re going home, aren’t we?” grinned Jamie.

“First flight in the morning,” said Malcolm. “Tickets are booked.” And he pushed himself up off the sofa and walked towards the kitchen whistling _Flower of Scotland._


End file.
